From Sympathy to Empathy

Ever since I heard the parable of the Good Samaritan sermon by Wen Jiang years ago, I had lived by the adage that "Anyone who is in need is your neighbour." 

When I first started out, I tend to meet needy people with sympathy. I felt that as a Yuppie (young upwardly-mobile professional) and having an awareness of economic inequalities, I ought to do my part to relieve their difficulties.

However my perspective evolved over time. Instead of reacting with sympathy, I started to meet the needy with empathy. What caused the change?

Stories.

I realised that the needy do not merely suffer economically. Poverty is an emergent phenomenon with multiple drivers and players. To meet their needs, I must start by listening to them.

As I took time to listen to their stories, my mindset changed. Contrary to my assumptions,  the needy are not always mired in sorrow. Stories destroy stereotypes. Some recounted bitter experiences, others confessed desperation but there were also many who displayed joy and contentment despite their circumstances. These stories made me realise that if we go past the superficial aspects of social status, occupation and ethnicity, we have fundamentally similar needs - physical provision, relationships and hope to get through another day.

I also realise that money does not solve all their problems. Some issues are psychological, social or attitudinal. These are not easily resolved with piecemeal handouts. Even systematic intervention programmes might not be effective. These  are not merely "social problems" which could be tackled by specific agencies or trained professionals. Many of these problems are personal, rooted in their identities and worldviews. This points to their need for the Gospel. Where social assistance fails, the Gospel bridges the gap by affirming their new identities as children of God, saved, sealed and redeemed in Christ not just within their earthly sojourn, but for eternity in the life to come.

I also learnt to lay down my treasures. We are all used to hearing "All that we have comes from God." This knowledge demands a response. If all we have comes from Him, then all that we have should be dedicated to serve His purposes. This is the attitude I hold towards "my" bank account. I know that giving should be carefully considered for obvious reasons. And I struggle too.

Money is not merely a store of value. It represents the hopes and futures of our earthly life - further education, opportunities to travel, career and social mobility, comfortable retirement, giving our children the best, etc. Every time I give an amount, I tell God, "Well God, here goes a piece of my future." This is however an excellent exercise of faith and focus. When I learn to live more for God, I learn to not settle for the lesser things of the world - fabulous clothing, fine dining, shiny toys and great vacations. They pale in comparison to the pursuit of knowledge, the beauty of relationships and the saving of souls. I know, with great certainty, where my money should be invested.

I've gone past the "If you give money, you may enable bad behavior." and "The needy shouldn't come to church for money." If they were self-sufficient in the first place, they wouldn't be asking for money. Most of the needy I came across never intended to live on the kindness of strangers. However they somehow ended up there. I will listen to them, unearth their needs and assist accordingly. Sometimes I give a token sum. In other circumstances, I offer to help them to search and contact those who would be more equipped to resolve their issues.